Dems Debate: Round 3 in New Hampshire

I’m not sure what strategy the Democratic National Committee is following in deciding to hold a debate on a Saturday evening, the last weekend before Christmas and directly opposite an NFL game. I guess they don’t really care about football fans or Christmas shoppers watching what they have to say.

 I’m not one for conspiracy theories, but there might be something to the idea that the DNC wants to make things as smooth as possible for the juggernaut frontrunner, Hillary Clinton.  The fewer people watching, the harder it is for the two trailers to catch up.

Regardless of the odd timing, the debate aired on ABC with a pair of hosts: David Muir, who looks like he just stepped off the set of General Hospital, and Martha Raddatz, a battle-tested professional reporter. It wasn’t as easy for the duo to drum up as many “ooos” and “aaaahs” I-can’t-believe-he-just-said candidate versus candidate attack lines in this debate as it was, and continues to be for the Republican debates.These democratic debates really are an over-civilized tea and crumpet affair.

Take the opening exchange of this one as an example. Muir starts with a reference to a freshly breaking (and really sort of odd) scandal.  Someone in the Sanders campaign was caught  illegally surveying Clinton campaign voter/donor information. Sanders responds with a long-winded description of exactly what happened (the details are nearly pointless) and punctuates it with a statement that the staffer who made the mistake (theft maybe) has been fired. Muir follows up by asking Bernie if Hillary deserves an apology….and Bernie says “Yes, I apologize.”

Could you imagine what would happen if Trump had to face this question? First he’d insult the moderator. Then he’d probably blame Mexican immigrants or ISIS for the scandal. Then he would want Hillary to apologize to him. (Yes, I’m exaggerating. But if Trump gets the nomination – which he won’t – you would see something like this, I know it.)

Hillary for her part chimed in with “we should move on. Because I don’t think the American people are all that interested in this.” If that at all rings a bell, it’s because you might remember how Sanders let Hillary off the hook during her email scandal “The American people don’t give a damn about your emails!”

See? Tea and crumpets…except for Martin O’Malley who’s trying to make noise, but is coming up a bit short. After Hillary finished absolving Bernie, O’Malley tried serving a sousant of Ted Cruz with a dollop of Chris Christie by criticizing the media and then reminding people there are terrorists everywhere, “David, look for crying out loud, our country has been attacked, we have pressing issues involving how we’re going to adapt to this changing era of warfare. Instead, we’re listening to the bickering back and forth. Maybe that is normal politics in Washington, but that is not the politics of higher purpose that people expect from our party.”

This in a nutshell was Martin O’Malley all night. He’s desperate to create an appealing identity for voters as he stands next to the arm-waving, socialist, angry uncle Bernie Sanders, and the cool, calculating, professional Washingtonian, Hillary Clinton. Not five minutes later, he was interrupting  to make a point about how he’d passed gun legislation in his home state of Maryland. He did it with such ferver  that he kept talking over David Muir, until Muir finally gave way. I get that he needs attention, but he looks desperate, and it doesn’t play well. Wait your turn Martin, you’ll look more confident, less whiny, and less like the kid who’s hoping he doesn’t get picked last in gym class.

By the way, pretty much every answer O’Malley gave tonight started with…”I actually did this in my home state…” That’s fine except that he hasn’t been governor for years, and that state is Maryland. Does that impress anyone?  I mean is there a state that gets mentioned less than Maryland?

As for the battle (such as it is) between Bernie and Hillary, I doubt that if you supported one before the debate that you switched to the other after. Bernie’s best moment came after ironically what looked like Hillary’s best moment.

Muir asked Hillary, “Fortune Magazine put you on its cover with the headline ‘Business Loves Hillary’, pointing out your support for many CEOs in corporate America. I’m curious, eight years later, should corporate America love Hillary Clinton?

Hillary: Everybody should.

The room erupts in laughter, and Hillary beams. She looks funny, and seems charming. She carries on listing plans she has to boost the middle class, and how she wants to be a President who can represent all levels of the socioeconomic ladder. A grand slam for Hillary, right?

Muir asks Bernie the same question, “will corporate America love a President Sanders?

SANDERS: No, I think they won’t.

Again the room explodes, but now an entirely different reason. Sanders launches a tirade against Wall Street “the greed of the billionaire class, the greed of Wall Street is destroying this economy and is destroying the lives of millions of Americans. We need an economy that works for the middle class, not just a handful of billionaires.”

It was a brilliant, bold work of verbal Juijitsu. Hillary turns into a crony capitalist, and Bernie becomes  the crusader for the underclass. This illustrates why Bernie’s a thorn in Hillary’s side, and will continue to be in the near term.

Meanwhile Hillary, like a political machine, stuck to her game plan. She defended herself (politely) on attacks from O’Malley about how anyone, including Hillary, could have the audacity to say when a dictator like Assad should go. (Hillary played it down the middle by explaining that if you want ISIS to go, then Assad has to go too). She deflected Bernie’s digs that she is too close to Wall Street by pointing out the majority of her donors are ordinary citizens.

And, whenever she could she criticized the Republicans and hugged her opponents on stage “I think it’s great standing up here with the senator and the governor talking about these issues, because you’re not going to hear anything like this from any of the Republicans who are running for president.”

However, Hillary did deliver a cringe-worthy moment. In a question about what role “First Families” play in the White House (with everyone wondering what in the world Bill, as former president, will be doing with his free time in the White House should Hillary be President),: “with respect to my own husband, I am probably still going to pick the flowers and the china for state dinners and stuff like that.”

What the hell is this? Hillary, if you are the President of the free world, I don’t want you wasting time picking out table decorations! Are you worried that Bill will chose garden weeds for table settings? Do you have a particular expertise in plate design? Or was this some cynical attempt at appealing to voters who would be uncomfortable with a woman in charge?

Self-inflicted wound aside, Hillary’s the frontrunner. And she’s acting like it. She’s barely attacking her Democratic opponents, lobbing critiques at the Republicans (well mostly Trump because he’s such an easy target) – and giving off the “aura of inevitability” It didn’t work for her in 2008. But it’s hard to see how it won’t this time. The guys on stage aren’t denting her much, and the Democratic Party establishment seems fine with it. Don’t be surprised if some of the Democratic debates get canceled. I don’t think many people will be interested in a “debate” with only one candidate on stage.

OCEAN’S NINE: REPUBLICANS IN VEGAS

To my loyal readers, I’ve been suffering from withdrawal symptoms. Our last debate was  a month ago, when the Hillary coronation ceremony that is the Democratic nominating process engaged in their second debate. And it’s been even longer since I’ve had the pleasure of taking in a Republican debate for you. Thankfully, Tuesday night in Las Vegas, CNN brought me the hit I needed.

This edition, the fifth debate of the Republican season brought nine candidates to the stage. Each network has their own criteria about whom to include – and the big beneficiary tonight was Chris Christie. Relegated to the undercard debate last month, the governor of New Jersey found himself back in primetime tonight.

I can say off the top that John Kasich and Ben Carson lost simply because they didn’t wear a red tie. That’s right, of the nine contenders, six wore red. There’s a politician’s playbook, especially for those on the right, and it says you’re supposed to wear red. Voters associate red with a sense of authority, Heck, Carly Fiorina immersed herself in a full red dress.

At kickoff, everybody’s favorite punching-bag-host Wolf Blitzer explained that in light of recent terror incidents in Paris and San Bernadino, this debate was to be a bit different from previous ones. It centered almost entirely on the issues of terrorism and immigration. This is the kind of debate GOP candidates love.

And I have to be honest, listening to these guys made me want to build a bunker, stock up on canned foods, and hunker down until the apocalypse is over.  If I didn’t know any better, I would think that ISIS troops are parachuting into major cities and storming the beaches from Santa Barbara to Coney Island, and hiding in the the cornfields of Iowa.

For Ted Cruz things are pretty simple: “political correctness” is what’s keeping  us from defeating the terrorists (Ben Carson agrees). I guess he wants us to be  more like Harry Potter, and not be afraid to say Voldemort’s name (or in this case “Islamic Extremists”). Ted Cruz went on to explain that if we want to win, we should be targeting “the bad guys” (see it’s really easy – go kill the bad guys). Cruz thinks “saturation bombing” is the way to do it  (never mind that saturation a.k.a. carpet bombing hasn’t been used since the Vietnam War).

John Kasich is ready to send in troops “in a coalition similar to what we had in the first Gulf War.” But he didn’t stop there, “Frankly, it’s time that we punched the Russians in the nose. They’ve gotten away with too much in this world and we need to stand up against them.” When did Kasich turn into Rocky Balboa and Putin into Ivan Drago?

Marco Rubio warned (three different times no less) that if we don’t spend more on defense, we’ll have the smallest and oldest air force in our history. Oh and he won’t be reading domestic terrorists any “Miranda rights” – so there, take that bad guys.

And to make sure who the real tough guy is, Chris Christie had no trouble reminding us time again:  “We need to focus our attention on Iran, because if you miss Iran, you are not going to get ISIS” (I hope he doesn’t mean bombing or invading). On the Russians,. “I would talk to Vladimir Putin. There’s a no-fly zone in Syria; you fly in, it applies to you. And yes, we would shoot down the planes of Russian pilots if in fact they were stupid enough to think that this president was the same feckless weakling that the president we have in the Oval Office is right now.”

At this point, I’m in full freak out mode. These guys want to invade everyone! Chris Christie is ready to start World War III! Head for the hills!…So thank goodness for Rand Paul, who again assumed the position of the conscience of the Republican Party “My goodness, what we want in a leader is someone with judgment, not someone who is so reckless as to stand on the stage and say, “Yes, I’m jumping up and down; I’m going to shoot down Russian planes.” (I have to say Paul might be my favorite guy to watch during these debates. He has no chance of winning, and seems to enjoy needling everyone. He has no allies. He’s just like the guy in the bar who has nothing better to do than spill drinks on everyone to see if he can start a brawl.)

But what would a debate these days be without a little digression on the “orange one,” Donald Trump. In my last posting, I confidently declared that Trump’s days as the front runner were over. I was way, way wrong. He will fall eventually, but I’m done predicting when that will be. He doubled-down on his recent comments regarding a proposal to close the borders to all Muslims until “our government can figure out what to do.” He carried on about building a “Great Wall” to keep out “tens of thousands of people with cell phones with ISIS flags on them.”

And roused the former poll leader and legacy candidate Jeb Bush, who apparently has decided that if he’s not going to win the nomination (he’s way behind in the polls right now), he’s going to make it his mission in life to drag Trump down with him.

Jeb: Donald, you know, is great at — at the one-liners, but he’s a chaos candidate. And he’d be a chaos president. (With the trap set, Trump takes the bait)

Trump: [Jeb] said that very simply because he has failed in this campaign. It’s been a total disaster. Nobody cares. And frankly, I’m the most solid person up here. (notice the Trump tactic: everybody sucks…I’m awesome. He does it pretty much every time).

Later in the debate,  the Donald just got done explaining how he would be “very tough” on the families of ISIS terrorists (which sounds an awful lot like a gangster-style threat to me) and then here comes Jeb again: “This is another example of the lack of seriousness.”

Then Jeb questions Trump’s competence “I won’t get my information from the shows. I don’t know if that’s Saturday morning or Sunday morning. I don’t know which one.” (In case you missed that reference, Jeb is implying Trump might be getting some of his ideas from television – specifically Saturday morning cartoons. Yes, the race for our nation’s highest office has come to this).

So how does Trump respond? With an insult back of course.

Donald: With Jeb’s attitude, we will never be great again, that I can tell you. We will never be great again.

Jeb: This is a tough business to run for president.

Trump: Oh, I know. You’re a tough guy, Jeb. I know. You’re tough.

Jeb: You’re never going to be president of the United States by insulting your way to the presidency.

Donald: Well, let’s see. I’m at 42, and you’re at 3. So, so far, I’m doing better. (Here Trump is referring to his own poll numbers and to Jeb’s. He is, however, grossly exaggerating both, but you see what he’s trying to do)

Jeb: Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter.

Donald: So far, I’m doing better. You know, you started off over here, Jeb. You’re moving over further and further. Pretty soon you’re going to be off the end… (Here the Donald is talking about how because of Jeb’s falling poll numbers, he is now standing at a podium on the far end of the stage, while Trump is still center stage).

I know, I know -there are more serious topics to discuss here than Trump and Jeb engaging in a school yard shout fest, but these theatrics do shape people’s opinions.

And it’s incredibly fun to watch.

So if you have kids, the next time one of these debates is on, shut their eyes and close their ears  – unless you want them to think insulting and interrupting your peers is the way to get ahead. Or if you want them to get excited about going to war.

Otherwise, let me keep watching so that you don’t have to.

You’re welcome.